“How I won the Ronde Van Ayrlaanderen” – Gobert exclusive!
After a fierce three hour battle over the helling of the Ayrshire Ardennes, there could be only one winner. Christophe Gobert might have been an unlikely candidate at the start of the day, but there was NO doubting who crossed the imaginary line in Monkton first*. We look back at this legendary edition of the RVA to identify 5 areas where the race was won.
1. Know the parcours.
As early as December 2010 Gobert was out scouting for suitable training venues to mimic the mythical parcours of the RVA. A brief stop over in the Flemish backcountry provided some good options to train for the Barnwielberg.
2. Explore your options.
The dreaded Barnweilberg
Gobert tells us he spent all of Friday night feverishly watching past editions of the RVV to work out all the options and cards to play. Should a solo attack on the Barnweilendries fail, a la Hoste on the Gerardsbergen, there would always be a chance to test the legs on the Pisgahberg, ala Gilbert on the Bosberg.
3. Think like a champion
By pulling on his lucky reproduction Tommeke outfit, Gobert was already in the berg eating mindset. How far he took this method acting is anyones guess. But rumours of sugar lines on the Gobert household table are just that, rumours.
4. Watch your rivals
A telescope trained on Chateau Baxter in the run up to the RVA revealed quickly that Baxter spent more time on skype to his ladyfriend than he did looking out his Museeuw replica Mapei kit. Of course this lack of attention to detail only spurred our winner on further. Knowing full well that Baxter would be afraid of dirtying his white ARCC kit, Gobert was able to attack the muddy Tarboltonaarde Muur safe in the knowledge there would be no challenge.
Sven Nys never worried about dirtying his Tommeke outfit!
5. Find a nervous horse
Had it not have been for a startled horse on the run back into Monkton, the result could have been very different. Alasdair McGibbon would have headed solo to the line with Ross Lyall in hot pursuit. But thanks to his crafty initiative in placing a jumpy horse just 300m before the line, and quick thinking as the contenders lost initiative, Gobert had the race sealed in ample time.
Full results:
C Gobert. 3 hrs 3mins 24 secs
R. Lyall @ 1 spoke length
A McGibbon @ 27.2 seatpost length
JP Baxter @ 126mm rear spacing length
T McIntosh @ an unfurled roll of pink bar tape length
L Wardrope @ an uncoiled roll of orange gear cable length
A Steven @ the back with a broken bike
* no matter what Ross Lyall says, there was NO doubting.
Tour of Flanders Saturday Social
This Sunday we should be standing ten-deep on the crest of Oude-Kwaremont, or better yet, straining the fences of the 
Paterberg, yelling Tommeke on.
But alas, doesn’t look like we will make it. Nevermind – hows about our own charge around the Ayrshire Ardennes?
We bring you the Ronde van Ayrlaanderen!
Our 75km route is faithful to the route of the Ronde with all the right details.We depart from scenic Bruges Monkton Cross at 0930 on Saturday AM.
We kick off with a rather fine leg loosener out the village and along the coastal flatlands before heading into the lanes! We’ll open our account with the Bogendberg, before a quick succession of legendary ascents such as the Barneweilberg, Craigiesmuur and Oude Rammageton. Each one gradually sapping the power and elasticity from you. There’ll be 50km in the legs before our ride passes through the heartland of the Ayrshire Ardennes – Tarboltonarde.
http://ridewithgps.com/routes/1030766/embed
From here we know the drill! The crowds will be going crazy as our riders throw themselves up Scootsberg before charging back across to the now legendary double act of the Barnweilberg with its Folly, and the broken surface of the Pisgahberg. Whoever makes it across the top first will need to descend like a demon to hold the pack at bay on the run in back to Meerbeke Monkon.
Despite the nonsense written about, this will be a leisurely social run to while away the hours while the Jupiler cools in the fridge! Everyone welcome.
Come on Tommeke – you can do it
The Wrang Way Roond… rated: PG
This being a tale of two men, a 20 year old quest for some holy relics, and a rubbish excuse to skip work…no introduction is going to do it justice. Let’s get on with it – ed.
As much as I’d like to I cannot take the credit for the concept of riding from Ayr to Lockerbie via Wanlockhead, mainly off road and on cross bikes. That honour falls to Marcus Shields, he who hails from Sorn but habitually resides in that there London.
Lost for Years
trouble written all over their faces
Marcus started out on this journey when he was a fresh faced lad of 14 but ended up, due to a navigational error, in Sanquhar. The story could have ended there (as might have Marcus) but no our Marcus went out and bought maps, feverishly planned the correct route and trained for almost 20 years before inviting me along to sample the long forgotten delights of up country Ayrshire
Armed with little more than an inner tube between us we left the end of Ayr Pier, with Arran aglow behind us in the early morning light, on Monday past at 07:30 (it would have been earlier but I am suffering from Date Of Birth Syndrome and needed a lie in).
Crossing the wee wooden bridge by the flats we promptly took our first wrong turn and ended up having to u-turn before tackling the not piss poor but perfect pedalling pave of Cathcart Street and Ayr’s Auld Brig.
Local Heroes Indeed
Up river we headed following the River Ayr path to Auchincruive and the, perhaps unique, monument to another two, albeit lesser known, local heroes by the names of Wallace and Burns. I was familiar with Wallace and Grommit so I had to Google this pair – for clarity’s sake I understand one is an Australian actor chappie and the other is awffy guid wi wurds aboot mice and men.
Choosing the wrong (North side) of the river we quickly found ourselves carrying the bikes through the mire (shite) of a farmer’s field whilst hoping that scaring sheep didn’t count as a crime in these parts – I’m sure they’ll have experienced worse in this airt …… Moss isn’t the only thing they blow around here, allegedly.
Large Boabby Sighted
Past Stair and Failford we rumbled (my knees) and on to yon big estate outside Mauchline. Under the World’s longest single span masonry arch at the Haugh …… onto firm trails now and the yard’s fair sped by. The sighting of a huge “Boabby” at Catrine led to earnest discussions whether this was in homage to Louison Bobet or our own Boabby MacLean.
Into Sorn and Marcus had his maw primed for our visit and the first meal of the day was troughed.
A little behind schedule we elected to take the road to Muirkirk leaving the delights of the River Ayr Walk to the ….. err, walkers. Now I’ve always hated that hill out of Sorn (despite which I once won the “most aggressive rider prize” in a race that climbed it – but only because I decked the organiser for including the hill …… irony) and Marcus, now looking like a snail due to the exceptionally full Camelbak he had collected from his maw’s hoose, was cheerily half wheeling me and engaging me in conversation that required long replies (remember this bit).
Not Stoned
Through Muirkirk, for the first time without being stoned, and up past Kaimes and onto the Foundry Road – the world’s first tarmac road courtesy of John Loudon MacAdam (we passed his cairn).
A long stony climb onto the moors to the right of Cairn Table took us to lunchtime and some Tennents Energy Lager was consumed with gusto.
4×4’s have ripped the fragile moorland environment to buggery and this protected hen harrier breeding ground, one of the most important in Europe, is, in parts, just an unrideable quagmire (giggidy, giggidy, goo).
Between the muddy bits there was some spectacular riding and crossers make these kinds of journeys possible as the speeds are generally much faster than on a mtb. The lack of suspension and effective brakes makes the descents exciting and the whole thing a hoot.
If I learned anything from this trip I learned not to pish on an electric fence. Take it from me those Ghostbuster lads were right – you should never, ever cross the streams, ever. Suffice to say I did and I was rewarded by the full pulsing blast, and not entirely unpleasant it was either, doon ma own boabby. Still that said it did warm my clammy chamois nicely and good progress was soon resumed.
Got Wood
Dropping down, we crossed the B740 Sanquhar to M74 road and headed into some forest roads, direction Wanlockhead. We were both starting to feel the effects of many miles of bog walking and were getting peckish.
The wind spun and the fine tailwind became a headwing up long exposed drags past felled hill sides. Hunger was announcing it’s arrival but all was good until we came across a section (now on the Southern Upland Way) of wind felled trees blocking the forset road.
Tackling this section put us in a maze like horizontal forest and made for exceptionally difficult going. By slowing down we were starting to chill but eventually making the other side after much manhandling ….. of bikes. A section that would have taken 1 minute to ride took over 20 to pick our way through ….. and then Marcus punctured (I had my only flat of the day earlier).
Wanlockhead was reached thanks to a gel split between us. The highest village in Scotland is, however, closed on a Monday so the road was followed over the hill to Leadhills where the highest shop in Scotland was open and very welcoming – just don’t plan a visit on a Wednesday because it too is closed and the rumour is that Wanlockhead takes a sympathy half day as well.
An indecent amount of food was consumed (I swear they do the best microwaved Scotch pies anywhere and that’s not just the knock talking). The plan had been to continue on the SUW cross country to Moffat and then join some other offroad Way or some such down to Lockerbie.
Given the time of day and Marcus’s requirement to catch the 19:11 from Lockerbie to Euston we decided to complete the ride on the road. Downhill it was too ……..
The darkness fell, lights were lit and show me a bit of downhill road and I’ll soon hit TT mode. Now remember that bit about being haulf wheeled earlier ….? Well the great thing about riding round the world is that I’ve got a fair reserve of stamina left over from it. I’m pretty shite for the first 9 or 10 hours but when I get through that I kinda get warmed up and catch my second wind.
Dirty Face
My lips are sealed and what happened on the road stays on the road …. all I’m saying is the man in the pub in Lockerbie was curious about why Marcus’s face was dirty and mine was clean.
Well, despite our best efforts Marcus missed the train by about 10 minutes and had to stay the night in one of the finest establishments the town had to offer. My long suffering partner Chez drove up in the van from the Lakes to collect me – babes, as soon as the burns have healed from that electric fence incident I’ll make it up to you, promise.
Guinness concluded the day – 80 miles half off road and half on road in about 12 hours. A grand day out …. as that Wallace and Grommit pair would have said.
As a footnote I should add that my one big regret in 30 years of cycling is not buying a cyclo cross bike before I did. Over the last 3 years it’s opened up a whole new world of daft trips (this one and across the High Atlas in Morocco) and has revolutionised my training (hill reps up forest roads = no cars :J). If you do one, sorry two things as a result of these ramblings – 1) buy or try a cross bike and 2) don’t pea on a live electric fence. Trust me on both …. would I lie …?
Happy trails and keep it rubber side down.
Gav McDonald
21st March 2012
Pics all by Marcus Shields (as he has a camera phone)
Global exclusive: Gary Maher – the man, the myth, the legend
Gary, flanked by Craig Adams and Dominic Hines. I suspect Gary stole this from the Nightingale's Flickr... click for more.
Just who is this unknown punk who has landed on the scene out of nowhere and caused our press officers to go into overdrive? While they are stuck searching for new superlatives to better those employed for last week’s ‘podiums’, we tracked down our dishevelled hero after a night of celebrations. Ladies and Gentlemen, we proudly introduce your 2012 Lake APR champion…. Gaz Maher
Gary, tell us about your ride at the Lake, how did it happen?
Our group was caught pretty quick so after that i tried to stay near the front and ignore all my previous slipstream training. Popped 2 ballons going up the climbs but both times caught the lead group and hung in to sprint for the line.
When did you know you were going to win?
50 yards after the finishline, as I was lying on the ground, Paul Rennie came over and congratulated me on finishing first…thought i might be in with a chance after that.
Who were you most afraid of?
Has to be my chauffeur Alex…he told me everyone else was rubbish, so i had better win or i could forget about all those free holidays to France.
You don't win a race from the front, unless... This one I suspect is from PBPB's (LeesLang) Flickr account. Click for more
How useless were your teammates?
I had teammates there? lol If it wasn’t for bad luck the boys wouldn’t have any luck, and from what i seen in Tenerife (which at times was way TOO much!) Mark would’ve scooshed that race.
A new recruit to ARCC, tell us your cycling background?
Pretty new to road bikes, joined Dales CRT (RIP) 2 years ago and done a bit of racing last year. As of today (Monday) I have retired.
Aspirations for 2012?
To trade in my easy, happy life and embrace hardships and depression…time to get married, settle down and have kids.
If I was not a cyclist, I would be a…
…raging car driver who beeps at those inconsiderate carrots on bikes.
The Tenerife trip – any gossip you want to share?
Nope, my lips are sealed…what happened in
XXXTenerife stays in Tenerife.
So what did happen in Tenerife? The Lake was the first time Gary has pulled on an ARCC jersey. Previously he has ridden for Garmin, Katusha, Sky and the late Dales Cycle Racing Team Scotland.
No really, all that “what happens in Tenerife stays in Tenerife” stuff doesn’t apply when you enter a new timezone… – nothing you want to share?
Ahh, nearly caught me out there..it’s the same time zone! All i will say is, have you seen Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas? Well, it was nothing like that.
How will you be investing your winnings?
Anti snoring devices for next year’s Tenerife trip…a bath is no place for an athlete to sleep.
Rab Kelly is “an inconsiderate carrot on a bike?” You heard it here first…
Read the British Cycling report of the action here
LAKE 2012: A second helping for ARCC!
Gary Maher today followed in our own wee Paul Torrance’s shoes to win the Lake APR today. His first win, in his first ever competitive outing for the mighty Ayr Roads CC. Well done Gary.
Our field reporter, Lexi McAllister tells us:
On Sunday 18 March at Balfron Ayr Roads CC/Harry Fairbairn BMW won the famous Lake of Menteith Race for the second year in a row when Gary Maher sprinted home at the head of a six-strong escape group. Earlier in the day 80 riders had set off from Balfron in groups but by the time the race reached Aberfoyle after 25 miles it had all come together except for the first group of ‘elder statesmen’ who were gamely hanging on to what was left of their 2-minute start. Back at Balfron after 40 miles, Gary and 5 others attacked on the steep climb out of the town and established a lead of one minute over the bunch. With 9 miles left to race, they caught then dropped the best of the first group on the long uphill drag into Killearn. That just left a mad 40 mph downhill dash for the finishing line where Gary timed his sprint to perfection.
So there you have it. We’ll catch up with our man of the moment very soon for a full blow by blow account of what happened where when why how etc.
Pic taken from LeesLang flickr site, as previously displayed on Braveheart Fund Forum. For the full gallery click the link
Meanwhile, here is what second place rider Craig Adams had to say via Twitter:
2nd Place for me today
#LakeAPR rode well from the scratch got away on the steep section after Balfron. Worked well with couple of guys to stay away caught first group. Tried a Gilbert style attack on the Killearn climb but got rode back! Half a wheel in it for the sprint :/ Not too shabby with a hard race in the legs from yesterday [Craig was in a looooooong seven lap break in the Dick Longdraggon Nat B race in Aberdeenshire on Sat]
And who won Craig?
Gary maher? From Ayr roads think he was in the 2nd group maybe.
He’s a good bean – you should follow him @Karboncraig
Those results then:
1 Gary Maher Ayr Roads Cycling Club 4th 01:48:04
2 Craig Adams GJS Racing Team 2nd st
3 Dominic Hines Velo Club Edinburgh 3rd st
4 Finlay Young Equipe Velo Ecosse/Montpeliers 2nd st
5 Craig Dale TheBicycleWorks.com 3rd 3
6 Gavin Shuttleworth Velocity 44 Stirling 3rd st
7 Lewis Hodgart Glasgow Couriers 3rd 23
8 AIDAN QUINN Glasgow Ivy CC 4th 41
9 Georges Avraam Edinburgh RC 4th st
10 Alan Dent Nevis Cycles Racing Team 4th st
11 Graham Moore Velocity 44 Stirling 3rd 43
12 Greg Brownwww.Dooleys-Cycles.co. uk 2nd st
13 Peter Murdoch Team Cycle Lane 1st 45
14 Andrew Wilson Falkirk Bicycle Club 3rd st
15 Malcolm Patterson Glasgow Nightingale CC 3rd st
16 STEVEN DUNN Falkirk Bicycle Club 3rd st
17 Gary Cross Falkirk Bicycle Club 3rd 47
18 Calum Foster Team Leslie Bike Shop – Right M 3rd st
19 Andrew Whitehall Equipe Velo Ecosse/Montpeliers 2nd st
20 Paul Renniewww.Dooleys-Cycles.co.uk 2nd st
24 Alexander McAllister Ayr Roads Cycling Club 4th st
Aye, what did happen to Paul Torrance and your captain Skilling? We’ll save that for the forums shall we 
Good work all!
More ‘podiums’ for Ayr Roads!
You mean you didn’t know that a top ten was a podium? c’mon, where have you been?
Yes its true! Ayrshire’s best and bestest road clubs were in action this weekend, and so were we! Not content with sending a strong team to demolish the opposition at a single event, we sent three groups into the hidden wastelands of central Scotland to return us some riches.
What happened?
Lets start in Drumclog. Our pals at the Loudoun have put on a super duper weekend of activity based around Drumclog, Dungavel and Strathaven. Neil Campbell, Robert Kelly and Paul McGhee donned the blue and white skinsuits to tackle the opening day’s 12.5 mile hilly TT. This being team Frank Spencer, what could go wrong?
Thanks to the Loudoun Flickr feed for this shot of Neil Campbell whizzing to a podium placing
Well not much. Neil did rather well and finished 9th. Here are some select results:
1 Neil Walker walkers cc S 31.33
2 John Paterson classic racing S 32.09
3 Andrew Ralston perth united cc V 32.30
4 Chris Stewart classic racing S 32.42
5 Stuart Macgregor dooleys rt V 32.43
6 Derek Mcmillan st christophers cc V 32.48
7 Wilson Kane east kilbride rc V 32.52
8 Paul Friel glasgow couriers V 32.53
9 Neil Campbell Ayr Roads CC / Harry Fairbairn BMW S 34.09
10 Robert Wilson glasgow couriers V 34.14
30 Paul Mcghee Ayr Roads CC / Harry Fairbairn BMW S 37.55
32 Robert Kelly Ayr Roads CC / Harry Fairbairn BMW V 38.02
What does it mean? Well Neil did very well, taking hard-ass roadman Gordon Murdoch’s scalp. But Paul and Robert? Good effort, but next time hows about a strategic puncture or two boys, please! So it was a 1-2 to A&DCA based clubs – good show Neil and John!
Ok, enough. Over in the east we had a team taking on the Musselburgh 3up TT. Kenny Armstrong, Mark Skilling and Alex McAllister. What happened next?
Kenny leads Mark and Alex on route to some sort of awesome result, that we sadly cannot confirm at time of going to print. Photo pinched off Veli-Matti Raikkonen's facebook page - cheers muchly
So right now, no results have been posted. But the top 5 was announced via twitter. Again, we can’t find it now, but needless to say we were not on it. Hows about some reactions:
Alex McAllister:
why is Kenny on the front in both pictures, Skilling on his wheel and McAllister snivelling at the back ?? The answer is blindingly obvious when you think about it….because that’s how we rode the whole feckn 24.3 miles. Never again
Gordon Stead (of our arch rivals, the dastardly yellow FWCC):
First lap I punctured , Jim and Stephen rode on , got a spare wheel and took a lap out , saw Jim and Stephen coming towards me , but only Jim got to the top of the hill Stephens chain had snapped . Jim and I finished the last lap .
If nothing else we do have a nice pic of the ARCC machine making Kelso wonder why they turned up. Good work chaps.
So to Sunday…
There was a cafe run, and there was cake. But there is always cake, so lets skip to somewhere else where there might or might not have been cake; the Drumclog APR. We have three ARCC riders in the race. Alex McAllister; Keith Hood, and Robert Kelly (all in group 3 of 5). I know what you are thinking: “Really Bernard, is this sensible?”
What happened next:
Taken from BC site http://www.flickr.com/photos/britishcyclingphotos/6973322781/sizes/l/in/photostream/
Alex McAllister
Not too unhappy with 5th. Even Kenny could have read this race….keep the group working together until the third and final time up the brae to Dungavel then give it stick. VC Glasgow South came with a plan and 3 of them gave it very big stick….all I had to do was follow them like nasty brown stuff on a shovel….job done.
Clearly Lexy was able to raise his game thanks to Gary ‘Higgi’ Higgins’ encouragement:
Lexi lexi lexi, keep that wee grey chin up
its no disgrace wheel sookin the southern softies after aw there jeest back from a holiday
age doesnt come itself
OLD PAL
Results:
1 Ronnie Burns (VC Glasgow South)
2 Andrew Louis (Pro Am RC)
3 Robert Young (Glasgow Green CC)
4 Steve MacLuskie (VC Glasgow South)
5 Alex McAllister (Ayr Roads)
6 James Melville (Glasgow United CC)
7 Graeme Small (East Kilbride RC)
8 Martin Wilson (VC Glasgow South)
9 Steven Turbitt (Glasgow United CC)
10 Stephen Begg (VC Glasgow South)
Robert was 13th, and Keith Hood 40th
And some choice words from Neil Walker:
Good APR today, our group just not enough committed guys on the last lap to close the gap, got away in last lap in a group of 4 and nearly made it though!
And who are these guys frightened of commitment? Well, we don’t know for sure. But perhaps Barry fae the kooriers can help us to draw our own conclusions:
It’s not right though when the Edinburgh guy is telling a 60 kilo guy that he is going through too strong into a head wind!!!! Not matter what we did we were never catching group 3
Read the full story at the British Cycling site
And we don’t want to leave Higgi without a photo of the man of the moment, Lexi McAllister.
Our 5th place hero lexi in casual 'Cliff Richard' pose. Order your high-res copy now from the vice-chairman. Congo-line photos cost extra.
We’ve been Ayr Roads CC, and you’ve been facebook stalked! Until next time…
Breaking Ice in 2012
Our pals up the road at the Fullarton once again opened up the Scottish racing season with the Icebreaker TT on Sunday. Sixty pairs of two signed up for the 1o mile event at Eggy park. It was cold, but the wind was barely rustling. And ice on the roads meant everyone was happy including the trade description act enforcers.
What happened then?
Well, some dudes from some new outfit called Paisley Velo RT went really quick. Chris Smart and Ben Peacock’s time of 20:18 was more than a minute faster than second place. Good going them we say.
Second place went to another WoSCA club so no point dwelling on it…
Third place went to our other buddies at Walkers Cycling – whoopee for Neil Walker and Charles Vincent, who presumably collected enough cash to start paying off those stunning new Giant TT rigs they were on!
Neil and Charles giving it some welly. I stole this photo from Neil's mummy, I hope she doesn't mind.
So thats great. 1, 2, 3. Instead of grudging the fact we didn’t place first Ayrshire team lets put some magic spin on it and shout hooray that Ayrshire cyclists can go really quick. Neil and Charles rode a stunning 22:02. Of course they would have been pleased for a few minutes, but you know they went to bed ruing those two important seconds
Enough. What are we waiting for… We have to keep scanning down the results until we find our fastest Ayr Roads pairing in…. eighth place. A Dales CRT Scotland PODIUM no less! (read “top 10″). But who? Step up Neil Campbell and Virtual Reality star Ed Clifton, whose 22:42 was TWO SECONDS faster than the Fullarton Wheelers’ top pairing of Gordon and Jim.
Neil and Ed on the start line. Note the glamour and allure of the Scottish testing scene...
So ayes, we might not be the fastest club in Ayrshire right now, but we will be the only club who didn’t go to bed fretting over two seconds.
We have to scroll down to 11th to find our next intrepid warriors. Captain Skilling and the Mick known as BIG. 23:07 was the time on the clock when they stopped. Poor wee Mark’s excuse was that Mick was too quick. Vrooom Vrooom all the same, a great showing for a pair of thoroughbred road racers.
Off we go, to the deafening roar of the fans
Back to the result sheet then and a hunt for the men of Ayr Roads Cycling Club / Harry Fairbairn BMW. None. But some cowboys by the name of Dave and Owen are riding for some outfit simply called ‘Ayr Roads’. Fortunately their riding skills are better than their media etiquette - 24:12 is the time on the clock and its good enough to warrant 18th place. Not bad for two men on regular road machines! You can find a souvenir photo of this momentous ride here.
So far so good, but we are a little bit light on prize money to pay for the 2012 christmas buffet… Bring on the Bill. John Escourt teamed up with the pensioner to deliver a 25:13. Good enough for 24th place, and scraping into top half of the field. More importantly, it gave them third placed vet team! How much in the brown envelope Alex?
But c’mon, 3rd place? We expect more from our only full time athlete McAllister, surely… We were offered a paltry excuse about John’s continuing knee injury, but eye-witnesses noted the obvious disappointment that Higgy had failed to hang out the “Go Lexy!” bedsheet on the A79 flyovers. To add insult to injury, one-time-member-of-this-parish McKinlay finished a whole second faster.
I don’t care what anyone says, its time to celebrate John and Alec’s achievement for their £5 winnings open our buffet account with some roasted peanuts!
Next!
We hacked this from a member's facebook account. See - protect your identity online - your information IS NOT SAFE! Toni and Lynne at the start.
We do however have something genuine to celebrate. On regular road machines, and in their first open time trial, our dynamic duo of Lynne and Toni finished second womens team! 28:21 said the watches, 45th out of 60 pairs. Whoopee.
The committee also noted Toni’s magnanimous gesture in offering the last piece of Fruit Loaf (from an awesome spread) to our pensioner. We won’t mention his huffy refusal.
Ten riders at a 10 hanging around a hall, ten riders at a 10 hanging around a hall, and if one ten rider should accidentally stall...
All in all, a super way to kick off the season. All credit to Ayr Roads, to Walkers CC for their great third place, and most importantly to the Fullarton Wheeler’s who taught us all a lesson in how to promote an ace TT. Incidentally, they will be putting on a TTT3 on the 8th July, just two weeks before the Scottish Team champs. Start training soonish.
ARCC call for volunteers
Of course, when you signed up for your year’s ARCC membership at bargain basement prices, you did read all the small print, demanding you attend and support at our open events… Good.
We will promote four open events this year, of various magnitude.
May 17th – Pennyglen Hill Time Trial – Organiser: Blair Wyllie. Volunteer Rating: 2.5star
June 9th – The Highwayman Challenge - Organiser: Christopher Johnson. Volunteer Rating: 2.5star
June 10th – 47th South Carrick David Bell Memorial – Organiser: Christopher Johnson. Volunteer Rating: 5 star
July 22nd – Straiton 4th Cat Road Race – Organiser Mark Skilling. Volunteer Rating 3.5 star
So its going to be a busy summer…. but a quiet winter. Please make sure these events are in your diary and organisers would be grateful for any assistance you can offer.
Introducing your committee!
Ayr Roads Cycling Club / Harry Fairbairn BMW is run by a crack team of bureaucrats who YOU helped elect at the last AGM! Who are they, and what do they do? Perhaps we could do with a wee refresher…
The Chairman: Blair Wyllie
As well as dominating the board room and demanding a huge bonus on top of his outlandish salary, our Chairman volunteers for some sort of full time position with the Council. Blair is a life long member of the club and has held a number of other committee posts including treasurer. He oversees the development of the club, everything from engaging with sponsors to completing risk assessments for our open events. We don’t often see Blair at our training sessions cos he is stuck behind a computer screen managing our affairs. As he should be, perhaps, as he should be….
Despite their best attempts, Wyllie, Baxter and Johnson failed to address the disgraceful lack of women on the ARCC Committee. Jo was having none of it
The Vice -Chairman: Christopher Johnson
Having served a rather ineffectual term as club secretary, there was little option but to ‘promote’ Christopher out of harms way. Like Chairman Wyllie, our Vice-Chairman has a spare time hobby somewhere up in Glasgow which has been known to distract him from his club servitude. As useless as LBJ was to Kennedy, Christopher currently organises the David Bell Memorial Race and edits the club website…
The Secretary: David Clifford
Before introducing David, a quick teaser: What do Fidel Castro, Josep Tito and Leonid Brezhnev all have in common? Thats right, all held the post of Secretary during their leadership. Voila. The Secretary is the most important member of our club. Everything goes through Dave, from race licences to SC registration forms, to cheques requiring his signature (that awful Trek he rides should reassure you on this one). Rumour has it, David works somewhere out behind Prestwick Airport for an organisation that might, or might not, have at some point made some interesting trade deals with interesting peoples. If you have a question relating to BC membership, club membership, or other stuff, he is the man to ask.
The Treasurer: Robert Bernard Kelly
The whole premise of this post has been a front – of course we just wanted to confirm Robert’s middle name. Poor Robert has to continue to find creative ways to cook our books in time for each AGM. And its no easy task – just ask his predecessor Mr McAllister who had to flea to France to avoid the scrutiny. When Robert is not at work slaving over our hard-earned pennies, he can be found in a 19th Century-themed park just off Wellington Square, doing some sort of legal stuff. Like Blair, we do not often get to see Robert on club runs. His fiscal training policy has kept him at level 1 over the winter as some sort of package of austerity measures. If you have cash, want cash, or something to do with cash, Robert is your man.
Golden handshakes from the treasurer. Super Sluth reporter Kerr turns a blind eye
The Championship Secretary: John Mason
Unique among your committee, John has nothing better to do with his time than serve the mighty Ayr Roads CC. After forty years he quit his job to dedicate more time to us, and complete his life long dream of cracking the points system set by our club forbears. Notifying the polis that we are using the roads, keeping tabs on our silverware, and ensuring that the club ten calculations remain a closely guarded secret, are all part of John’s job.
The Captain: Mark Skilling
When not goading everyone into the scratch group, Mark can be found doing some sort of IT based thing with schools. But don’t ask him anything about computers, cos that is apparently a mystery. Mark came to us from a brief but spellbinding career as a Kilmarnock midfielder. Don’t be surprised when members of other clubs approach him to autograph their 1996 Panini sticker books. Want to know which bunch to go in, where its going, when its going, why its going that way, why no one is listening to your request to go via Carlisle and back over that broken bridge up some road way out yonder, direct your question to Mark. Also, if you want to know about what races to target, how to survive in the bunch etc, try asking Skilling. Should you find the answer’s to your liking, you can reward him with a Guinness. Mark has also been responsible for ensuring that we’ll all be taking delivery of our snot green and blue fake Movistar kits very soon.
Other notable talents:
The Social Secretary: Michael Robb.
Mick’s having a party, and if you’re nice, you might be invited!
Michael Robb - the man knows how to have fun!
The Club Hut Convenor: John-Paul Baxter
JP says remember to turn the Jacuzzi off when you leave. If you want a key to this fine hostelry, this is the man to ask.
The Club Press Officers: Gavin Kerr & Paul Gibson
Why didn’t your 22nd place in the TLI 10 on the westferry get a mention in last week’s Carrick Gazette? Possibly cos these two have not yet perfected the art of mindreading. Pray tell, and they will work up some spin to sell to their media contacts.
JP working hard to keep the riff raff in order
Hopefully that has cleared up who does what. You will of course have more questions, and perhaps some ideas and suggestions on how our post-holders could conduct their jobs even more efficiently. You can send these to ayrroads AT gmail DOT com. Your feedback is important to the committee, who will do their utmost to see you co opted onto the committee at next year’s agm.
FWCC 0, ARCC 1
Well actually, given that this was the second time Ayr Roads CC had lined up a team against our neighbours at the Fullarton Wheelers, the score is probably now one all…
ARCC are delighted to report that after a thrilling contest on the virtual reality trainers at the Fullarton Wheelers base in Kilwinning we came away with our pride restored!
The format is simple – two teams of four riders. Two riders from each team are pitted against each other in the first half, and then the remaining four tackle the second.
In the first half Ed Clifton and Mark Skilling went up against Jim Ryland and Brian Loye over an undulating 8.4mile course.
And they're off. Ed Clifton's coming up the inside....
Some foul play was suspected when Big Ed’s machine kept slipping and biting into his tyre. Fear not, our arbitrators observed the massive power coming from his legs and ruled play on… Three miles in and he was off on his own, forging a trail into that Spanish desert. Meanwhile Skilling was locked in his own battle with Brian…
Skilling pulls back his 5 second deficit to become a 1 second advantage over Brian Loye
The away crowd had to cheer and cajole as bike lengths became football fields and the captain was down five seconds. But fear not, the road was yet to rise, and when it did our hero stamped on those poor pedals and the finishing result – 1 second up. Poor Jim wrestled with his machine and dug deep to limit our host’s loses.
Big Ed – what can you say? We salute you! Awesome, from the shy unassuming boy who pretends he has never ridden a turbo before…. as if!
The score at half time: 2mins 24 seconds to Ayr Roads favour.
Second half
“Aw naw” was the feeling in the away camp, as the Fullarton lined up their secret weapon ‘Big Nigel’. Legend has it Big Nig has not seen daylight for the last 12 months, so fixated is he by his tacx machine. Whispers of ‘The Turbo God’ when he entered the mixing room -we are, after all, in an old recording studio. ’Fear not’ calls our Captain, ‘We’ll record some new records tonight’. (thats a pun – see? boom boom geddit?….)
Big Mick and your correspondent took to their machines sandwiched between Gordon and Nigel. 10miles of flat we are promised, around a nice wee Italian lake. 5.4.3.2.1. and we’re off.
No wonder its fuzzy with the speed we are moving at...
The room is hot with frenzy. Three miles in and something crazy is happening – your former 2007 club hill climb champion is up on big Gordon. Its a slim second but its something! Meanwhile Mick is holding Nigel in a yard by yard battle to the death…
There is a time and place for turbo trainers - this is it
But come on… what were you expecting? By 3.1 miles your undisputed club freewheel champion is struggling. No way can he compete with Gordon’s aerodynamic advantage. Its ok though, Mick is in business and slugging away.
6miles in, and its still advantage ARCC, but we are loosing ground. 7.5 miles read everyone’s machines except yours trulys – 7.4. Some words of encouragement from the captain “you’re beating rab, you’re beating rab”. Its good stuff. Not enough to claw time back, but enough to limit our losses.
Gordon’s the first to smash through the imaginary line and claim relief. Nigel comes 10seconds later. Remember, we have just 2mins 24 to loose.
And Mick’s home – phew, just 21sec’s back on Nigel. The road is descending, the chains on the 11. A final push… and 16 seconds later the 1997 A&DCA junior BAR champ is home! YAAAAAASSSSSSSS -
WE DID IT!
The score at full time? We calculate it 54 seconds in our favour
Glory restored… Big Ed churned 330 watts average to our mortal 300… Lets build a bigger stronger team around him for round three.
A huge thank you to our hosts at the Fullarton. Its a super set up, and they made us all really welcome and got a good crowd out to cheer us all on. Ayrshire Cycling is on the up 
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